1 Mountains of Mourne
"The Mountains of Mourne in County Down are like a mini-Lake District," says travel writer Tim Ecott, "but they are far less crowded than the Lake District. Green, verdant and devoid of traffic, they have some of the loveliest walking in the UK and are rich in Irish history. They were part of an ancient Gaelic kingdom and lots of Irish kings are reputed to be buried there. Parts of the area are still Gaelic-speaking." From the top of Slieve Donard, Northern Ireland's highest mountain, on a clear day - which are not entirely unknown here - you can see England, Scotland, Wales and the Isle of Man. Ecott recommends staying in a B&B in the small town of Newcastle at the foot of the mountains, or in the more upmarket Slieve Donard Hotel, which has the Royal County Down golf course attached.
2 The Shetland Islands
"The absolutely in place at the moment is Shetland," says Bob Macbeth, publisher of Travel GBI. "It's got the freshest air in Britain, bags of Viking history and great abbeys. The people are friendly, you can get back to nature, and it has the finest lamb you've ever tasted." Shetland is very proud of its indigenous breed of sheep, which have horns, short tails and double coats. They are small, hardy and very wild - so approach with care. The islands - which number around 100, of which only 15 are inhabited - have a population of 22,000. The numbers have barely increased over the past 200 years, and in the summer people are outnumbered 10 to one by puffins, which make Shetland their home from mid-April to mid-August. The islands have 900 miles of coastline, 138 beaches and 6,080 archaeological sites dating back as far as the Stone Age. Shetland is about to get direct flights from Stansted, but don't tell the stag parties.
3 The Peak District
Derbyshire's Peak District was Britain's first National Park, and offers some of the UK's most beautiful scenery and best adventure holidays. "It tends to get overlooked by southerners on their way to the honeypots of the Lake District or Yorkshire Dales," says the Guardian's travel editor Andy Pietrasik, "which is bizarre because it's the first bit of dramatic countryside you get to heading north. While the White Peak dales can get overrun at places like Dovedale, it's so big you can easily escape the crowds. It has rolling countryside in the south and dramatic peaks in the north, all bounded by drystone walls. There are stately homes (the rather blousy Chatsworth or the more authentic Haddon Hall) and heritage (Arkwright Mills and the Blue John mines)." Activities include fly-fishing on the river Wye, great walking (the Pennine Way starts at Edale), mountain bike trails and good climbing (Stanage Edge, near Hathersage). You can stay in a cottage, at Harthill's barn near Buxton - "fantastic", according to Pietrasik - or at the Peacock Hotel in Rowsley, owned by Lord Edward Manners and with a Gordon Ramsay-trained chef.
4 West coast of Scotland
"You won't get Costa del Sol-type sunbeds on the beaches of the west coast of Scotland," says John Hill, editor of Good Holiday magazine, "but you will get a wonderful and totally different experience. If you want secluded beaches you'll find them easily, especially the further up the coast you go. There is nothing there, no bars or restaurants, so take your own picnic. It'll just be birds, seals and you. I won't name beaches, because I don't want 10,000 there next week, but explore the coast between Oban and Fort William, and the Western Isles. There are almost too many to mention." The area is also reckoned to have the most spectacular sunsets in Britain.
5 Gower Peninsula
"I love the Gower," says Helene Hodge, editor of Travel and Leisure Magazine. "It's unspoilt, very green, there's lot of wildlife and the scenery is stunning. The only problem is that it does get very crowded in the summer, though Mumbles is lovely even with the crowds. Go out of season if you can - then all the little coves will be even more restful." As well as fine beaches and great surfing, the Gower has also undergone a gastro-revolution, with high-quality hotels and restaurants opening. Tony Blair, Anne Robinson and AN Wilson are also in a minority in casting aspersions on the Welsh. "The locals are lovely," says Hodge, "very welcoming to tourists." The Gower was the first place in the UK to be designated an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. Dylan Thomas set some of his most charming stories of childhood here and Mumbles-born Catherine Zeta-Jones, who can afford to live anywhere on the planet, has built a mansion near her old home. That is a recommendation, by the way.
6 Scilly Isles
It took the Scilly Isles a couple of decades to escape its association with Harold Wilson, who always used to take his holidays there, sitting on a rock and puffing a pipe, but happily it is now gaining a more vibrant public image. "It has fabulous diving, beautiful golden beaches and the lovely Tresco gardens," says the confusingly named Andrea Spain of In Britain magazine (I suggested she change it to Andrea Skegness). Only five of the 150 islands are inhabited, and if you take a boat to one of the uninhabited ones you'll have the beach to yourself. The Scilly Isles gets more sunshine and is a couple of degrees warmer than the rest of the UK, the air is unpolluted, it has the tallest lighthouse in Britain (the Bishop at 167ft) and you can't move for smuggler's caves and iron-age settlements. The only downside is that the islands are owned by the Prince of Wales, so if you hear a helicopter - run.
7 Folkestone
Sam Hill, spokeswoman for the Camping and Caravanning Club, which has an amazing 400,000 members in the UK (most of them stuck in front of me on the motorway), recommends Folkestone and the Kent coast. "It's gorgeous," she says. "There's an excellent campsite right next to the beach and lovely cliff-top views. You have easy access to all the coastal areas and France is just a short hop away if you want to take a day trip." The town of Folkestone may not, it is true, be that exciting, but nearby Hythe has the world's smallest public railway - trains are a third of the size of normal ones - running 14 miles across Romney Marsh to Dungeness. Children in your party may also be interested in nearby Port Lympne Wild Animal Park, which has the largest herd of African elephants in the UK.
8 Northumbria
In Britain magazine's Andrea Spain recommends Northumbria. "The coastline is amazing and the beaches are empty," she says. This is possibly because the sea is so cold and the clouds frequently low. ("It's bleak and windy," says a source on another travel magazine. "I almost froze to death, though the beaches are magnificent.") But if sunbathing is out, there are always the "heritage" sites - numerous castles, including Bamburgh and Dunstanburgh and Holy Island - as well as the garden at Alnwick. And if you want to be pampered, Spain suggests a stay at Seaham Hall, a luxury hotel and spa.
9 Inland Cornwall
The beaches of Cornwall can be crowded in the summer, so why not try the alternative Cornwall, suggests James Clive-Matthews of Heritage magazine - all the remnants of old industrial and commercial Cornwall that lie just inland. "Cornwall used to be a key trading area," he says. Some people suggest the Romans invaded to get their hands on Cornwall. There are lots of ruined settlements dating back to around 500BC and old tin mines. The area is also rich in neolithic remains, many of them built to survey the heavens. We are still using Cornwall to survey the heavens - the Goonhilly Downs satellite station is sited on the Lizard Peninsula - and it is intriguing to wonder what tourists 3,000 years hence will make of its forest of satellite dishes. Some form of obeisance to the sun god perhaps? Clive-Matthews recommends walking the coastal path, staying in B&Bs and nipping inland every so often to investigate the remnants of iron-age Cornwall. Go into the more remote pubs and you may also find militant supporters of the Cornish independence movement, reliving the glory days of 500BC.
10 Snowdonia
"I love north Wales," says Matt Hampton, features editor of Travel Weekly. "It's one of the most accessible places in the UK for hill walking and is not as touristy as the Lakes. There are great walks up Snowdon, including the fantastic Crib Goch ridge. That's a very challenging route up, but there are lots of easier ways up. Tryfan is another famous climb - or more a scramble really than a piece of technical climbing. The Plas y Brenin mountain centre offers lots of climbing and hillwalking courses, and there's a great hotel called the Pen-y-Gwryd, which has lots of climbing memorabilia. Mallory and Irvine stayed here prior to their fateful assault on Everest in the 1920s." After climbing Snowdon in the 1950s, the legendary British mountaineer Joe Brown is reputed to have slid down the Snowdon Mountain Railway track sitting on a flat rock. Children, do not attempt this!
Additional reporting by Lucy Clouting and Helen Pidd.
Don't go there: Five places to avoid
1. London
All year round, it is the European capital with the worst cuisine, worst traffic, highest prices and most unwelcoming natives, as well as being burdened with a service industry that has only the most tenuous connection with the concept of service or, indeed, industry. Don't go there. If you hanker after the London experience, sit in a bathful of your own sweat in a room full of exhaust fumes and pale sneering people in shorts, and burn twenties with a lighter.
2. Rock
"I say, Arabella!"
"What is it, Bottletop?"
"Now that we've finished frittering away daddy's money at Winchborough College and Oxbridge, I quite fancy destroying the peace and tranquillity of a small Cornish fishing village with my braying voice and the kind of behaviour that would get me an Asbo were I not protected by the amulet of overprivilege."
"Rilly, rilly good idea, Bottletop. I'm so glad we're the most important people in the world."
"Yah. Don't forget to put those bits of leather round your wrist - it's like, sooo much quicker than having to explain to everyone that yah, underneath this rugby shirt there's another rugby shirt, and yah, I've shared spliffs with a man whose Chelsea flat was sublet to a girl who kissed Prince Harry at Eton."
"Rock on, Bottletop! Do you see what I did there? Rock on!
3. Southwold, Walberswick and the rest
Nothing but second homes and B&Bs for people who are scouting for second homes. Southwold has a 60-seat arts cinema, for God's sake. For a population of 52. There are probably bylaws against watching DVDs in case you slip in a Jerry Bruckheimer and the whole place has to be walled up to prevent low culture spreading to Orford and Aldeburgh.
4. Yorkshire
Lovely scenery, but there are people in the West Riding who have lived there since 1106 but are still not accepted as true Yorkshiremen because rumour has it that their mother bought clogs from a pedlar who had a cousin in Prestbury, thereby blighting the bloodline forever. They make Londoners look like Hawaiian greeter girls. Plus you can't stray within 50 miles of Haworth sodding Parsonage without being assailed on all sides by Bronte bilge. The Branwell Tea Shoppe. The Helen Burns Sunbed Centre. Mr Rochester Opticians. Grace Poole Loft Conversions. What a load of Wuthering Shite.
5. The Lake District
A carpark with puddles. If you do manage to hike your way to a beautiful view, it will be ruined within seconds by jabbering foreign tourists eager to digitise rather than appreciate the landscape so they can share the view immediately with the folks back home in Shanghai. They also have no idea that to British ears, the acceptable volume for conversation by Coniston is just above that of a cormorant fart.
Lucy Mangan