As I write this I'm watching Channel five's MacIntyre's Underworld: Mad Dog programme on Jonny Adair and there is, unsurprisingly, some disturbing shit going on there - and nobody's buying the PR. The man is such an embarrassment to the pro-union population in Northern Ireland I can't help but think he's in the pocket of republicans because he seems to be doing their cause more good than his own.

I felt nauseous when I saw Adair and his waste of space mate Michael Carrol draping themselves in the Union Jack alongisde loyalist paramilitary flags. To make matters worse, Adair seems to have a complete victim complex about himself. He's been such an unfortunate soul that "all those people in the UDA turned on me and my family," or something like that. My heart's fucking bleeding!

At one point, Jonny travels to Dresden in the former East Germany where he generously allows some neo-nazis who idolise him to engage in some hero-worship. These people are really insane - they've even got shrines to Adair in their living rooms (disturbing enough in Northern Ireland, but probably moreso for someone whose only connection to Adair, presumably, is racism and/or violence). Adairs blatantly apparent egomania means he laps it up.

Another clue that he may be batting for the other side (in more ways than one, according to last Friday's nutcase of the day) came when he was planning his trip home from exile (just to stick two fingers up to those who had threatened to kill him if he returned). Apparently the plan was to go via Wales and Dublin before crossing into "the north of Ireland." I ask you!

Sickeningly, Adair is nostalgic for his days in the Maze prison, where the harsh regime included holding raves and watching porn, then protesting at the harsh conditions. The Maze occupies a "special place" in his heart - yet another good reason to raze the fucking place to the ground, instead of turning it into a shrine.

Even more disgusting than the easy life in prison, Adair not only freely admits that if he was born a catholic he would have joined the IRA and fought for "their beliefs" (whatever they are), but seems to think it highly amusing; joking that he would probably have been on the IRA army council. Yeah that's fucking hilarious Jonny - so essentially you believe in fuck all, save for gangsterism.

Incidentally, according to the documentary maker, Adair "yearns for his years in loyalist west Belfast." A mistake from a Dubliner ignorant of Belfast's sectarian geography, or a freudian slip revealing the truth?

The documentary finishes with Adair stating his desire for him and his family and friends to someday return to Northern Ireland. I don't believe I'm alone in saying I think we have enough nutcases in the country already.