There's plenty wrong with copyright laws in this country. Instead of fixing those things though, the government want ISPs to do their dirty work, monitor everything you download and ban users from the internet if they download copyrighted material. There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start!

1. It's an invasion of privacy. This is the most immediately obvious problem. That's fair enough if you're one of those downloading illegal content, but it's essentially treating everyone as guilty (by stripping them of their right to privacy) until proven innocent. There isn't even a "reasonable grounds for suspicion" protection.

2. It's not technologically feasible. Discussing this very issue, one ISP that monitors the types of traffic on their network quite closely reports that 40% of BitTorrent (a popular filesharing application) is now encrypted. What this means is that the technology already exists, and is quite widely used, to prevent interception and examination of data. It's not the first time the politicians have gone riding in half-cocked without understanding what they're talking about when it comes to the series of tubes known in technical circles as "the internet" though. Did they really think 22 MPs signing an Early Day Motion "demanding" faster broadband speeds in the countryside would alter the laws of physics?

3. It would be expensive. The government keeps talking about its priority to improve broadband access (there's even a minister responsible for it!). How is that objective going to be affected when ISPs have to jack up their prices to pay for the development and/or purchase of this monitoring software which will probably prove ineffective in the longrun anyway?

There's a few issues to start with anyway (and I've not even touched on the many ways in which piracy actually benefits consumers by forcing big companies to reform their monopoly-abusing habits, that's for another day). As I've said before, there are bigger issues with UK copyright law as it stands than spotty teenagers downloading music or films in their darkened bedrooms and the government are coming at this, as government is inclined to do, from completely the wrong side of the argument.

Do we have a right to be offended by Ulster stereotypes?

According to broadcasting news site Digital Spy, Ofcom is set to investigate complaints made about the Catherine Tate Show's portrayal of a Northern Irish family as terrorists.

The site says that viewers "expressed anger" about a sketch in which a Northern Irish family were opening their Christmas presents, which included a balaclava, a knuckleduster and an apron adorned with a balaclava-wearing terrorist alongside the words "Remember Everything, Forgive Nothing".

It's purile and really not that funny but is it really surprising? She's not the first and I'm sure she won't be the last. In fact when we have equally un-funny shite being produced locally in the guise of the Hole in the Wall Gang's Give My Head Peace or their even less funny (yes, apparently it was possible) Dry Your Eyes, or Patrick Keilty's usual shite, all of which pander as much to stereotypes of Ulster as anything produced elsewhere, can we really claim to be that offended when others join in? Even the Blame Game (which I quite like) all to often slips into crass sectarian stereotypes instead of the genuine comedy which it does rather well most of the time.

Isn't Jesus supposed to have said something along the lines of "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (For those of you still unsure: yes, he is). Anyway, Northern Ireland needs to improve its image, certainly, but isn't that our job rather than other people's?

Pudsey's new look for 2007. What have they done?

Tonight's Children in Need night on BBC, but what the hell have they done to Pudsey? It looks like some wise-ass graphic designer has been let loose on him and decided to assault the poor thing.

Classic Pudsey served BBC Children in Need for 20 years.

The previous Pudsey logo had been used for nearly 20 years but for some reason the BBC have decided to "update" him this year. I'd let them away with the colour-tone change, but that red polkadot bandana-type thing was part of Pudsey, not to mention the fact that someone's butchered the poor bear's face.

Bring back classic Pudsey.

Images © copyright BBC

As I write this I'm watching Channel five's MacIntyre's Underworld: Mad Dog programme on Jonny Adair and there is, unsurprisingly, some disturbing shit going on there - and nobody's buying the PR. The man is such an embarrassment to the pro-union population in Northern Ireland I can't help but think he's in the pocket of republicans because he seems to be doing their cause more good than his own.

I felt nauseous when I saw Adair and his waste of space mate Michael Carrol draping themselves in the Union Jack alongisde loyalist paramilitary flags. To make matters worse, Adair seems to have a complete victim complex about himself. He's been such an unfortnate soul that "all those people in the UDA turned on me and my family," or something like that. My heart's fucking bleeding!

At one point, Jonny travels to Dresden in the former East Germany where he generously allows some neo-nazis who idolise him to engage in some hero-worship. These people are really insane - they've even got shrines to Adair in their living rooms (disturbing enough in Northern Ireland, but probably moreso for someone whose only connection to Adair, presumably, is racism and/or violence). Adairs blatantly apparent egomania means he laps it up.

Another clue that he may be batting for the other side (in more ways than one, according to last Friday's nutcase of the day) came when he was planning his trip home from exile (just to stick two fingers up to those who had threatened to kill him if he returned). Apparently the plan was to go via Wales and Dublin before crossing into "the north of Ireland." I ask you!

Sickeningly, Adair is nostalgic for his days in the Maze prison, where the harsh regime included holding raves and watching porn, then protesting at the harsh conditions. The Maze occupies a "special place" in his heart - yet another good reason to raze the fucking place to the ground, instead of turning it into a shrine.

Even more disgusting than the easy life in prison, Adair not only freely admits that if he was born a catholic he would have joined the IRA and fought for "their beliefs" (whatever they are), but seems to think it highly amusing; joking that he would probably have been on the IRA army council. Yeah that's fucking hilarious Jonny - so essentially you believe in fuck all, save for gangsterism.

Incidentally, according to the documentary maker, Adair "yearns for his years in loyalist west Belfast." A mistake from a Dubliner ignorant of Belfast's sectarian geography, or a freudian slip revealing the truth?

The documentary finishes with Adair stating his desire for him and his family and friends to someday return to Northern Ireland. I don't believe I'm alone in saying I think we have enough nutcases in the country already.

I've emailed this to the BBC and requested a reply, and would urge others to do the same. If/When I receive a reply I will post details here.

It seems a fitting title in light of the recent hunger striker memorials; tonight I watched a documentary presented by overweight comedian Ricky Grover on BBC Three (part of their Body Image Season) entitled F*** off, I'm fat. Subtle, eh? The documentary team followed Mr Grover as he and some incredibly obese people complained about how hard it was being fat. The thing that tickled me most though, was the mention that in America (where, unsurprisingly, most of these studies are carried out) it's been estimated that on average a "seriously obese" person breaks 3 toilets a year.

Is this the future facade of public conveniences?

With the enterprising culture of the US, some genius has come up with industrial strength, economy size toilets that are tested for support of up to a tonne in weight, instead of the 20 stone of a standard toilet.

The main problem with the thrust of the programme was that, entertaining as it was, it was essentially an hour-long MOPE. Grover and his fat friends spent the hour complaining and moaning about all the things they have to struggle with daily, such as the arms of seats on the tube digging in, problems finding clothes (or motor vehicles) they can fit into and even travelling by plane. Yes, at a time when estimates are emerging that one-third of adults will be obese by 2010, and experts are saying IVF for obese women is both dangerous and wasteful, this documentary is trying to shift the responsibility for obesity away from obese people!

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I stumbled across NorthernIrishBlogs.com this morning, which led me to this post at United Irelander (surprisingly, since I thought UI was Dublin-based, but I digress). Apparently United Irelander is concerned that us Nordies are being ignored by our countrymen on the mainland following reports about the Britain's new charities lottery, Monday. According to PlayMonday.com, "To play Monday you must be resident in England, Scotland or Wales". (On asking why this was so, I was old "Play Monday is a society lottery. Government legislation prevents us from operating in Northern Ireland and the Channel Islands. This is not our policy...")

This led to a warning from UI for unionists that "The British want nothing to do with [Northern Ireland] yet the South continue to offer help". Touching (and misguided) though his concern is, it did lead me to think about something. In practical, everyday terms (in other words ignoring abstract concepts like freedom and my British citizenship etc) what consumer goods and services are available to us in Northern Ireland precisely because we are a part of the UK?

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Another night, another riot in north Belfast around Ardoyne. I'm not even going to comment on the fact that yet more petrol bombs were hurled at the officers caught in the middle of this pathetic but dangerous sectarian chest-beating aside to mention how dispicable it is.

Also in the same area, a Protestant family's home was attacked and had windows smashed in Alliance Gardens yesterday afternoon. Later (around 5:30 pm) a gang of 4 youths attacked Catholic homes in Cliftondene gardens with paint and petrol bombs, in an attack the local Sinn Fein representative described as sectarian.

He's almost undoubtedly right and the attacks are deplorable, but somehow I get the feeling he was only describing the latter attack as sectarian rather than both. This would be regrettable yet only too predictable given Sinn Fein's hierarchy of victims.

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Saw Ken Livingstone on the BBC this morning. Not a fan of his at the best of times but was disappointed to hear him compare the Israeli occupation of Gaza/the West Bank to Nazi occupation of Britain. Can Godwin's Law be applied to a breakfast news item on TV?

I don't often venture an opinion on the situation in the middle east because I don't know enough about it but Livingstone clearly should have kept his mouth shut as his comment seems to back up the idea that he and his fellow terrorist loving leftists have no idea about situations they feel qualified to talk about.

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That Irish bloke from the X-Factor, or Louis Walsh as he is occasionally known, has branded Big Brother winner Anthony talentless amidst rumours of the geordie attempting to land a part in a musical and/or releasing a single off the back of his new found 'fame'.

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