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Christmas Cancelled in Ulster!
Santa will boycott Northern Ireland this year leaving hundreds of thousands of children without presents and all because greedy football fans want a new stadium built in Belfast and not the Maze. There have also been warnings that the sky 'may' fall and unconfirmed sightings of the four horsemen.
OK, Christmas is still on but according to what passes for the local "media" Northern Ireland will lose out on 10,000 jobs and the 4-Nations/Celtic Cup will have to be cancelled.
You see the tournament will have to be scrapped because the plan was to host all the matches in the same country in any given year and Northern Ireland's current facilities just aren't up to the job. I know what you're thinking: with the tournament starting in 2011 and running biannually, if Northern Ireland was to go last of the 4 nations, we wouldn't be hosting it until 2017 (that's 9 years, just in case whoever penned that BBC story is unable to do challenging mental arithmetic like that).
Added to the above disaster, Northern Ireland will lose out on 10,000 (yes, they said ten-thousand) jobs because, you see, if we don't agree to the blackmail proposals for the Maze, there are no other sites where we could build a stadium and those hundreds of millions of pounds will evaporate into thin air.
Won't someone think of the children?!